Hey friends. I never post about personal things on my design blog. Not sure that anyone would care, or if anyone can relate. But, this will be short. Simple. Honest.
I want to be a mom. It's hard watching EVERY FRIEND around you have babies, buy houses and live the life your heart aches for. It's lonely, when your husband travels a lot for work, and you have nothing to look forward to and no one to pass the time with.
Holidays are my thing. Decor. Food. Shopping. Crafting. MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR. Enter: Ruin my holiday news + Depressed over not being a mom = Sleep away 24 days of my life.
So DH's company drops the bomb that my husband will be traveling for Thanksgiving. The holiday season. Only time of year this want-to-be-mom gets to pretend to be like all the families she watches live life from facebook.
I throw a fit. Really. I was styling my hair. He broke the news. I went postal; crying, sobbing, the wiping of snot from my nose and heavy gasps for air. And, then grabbed my falt iron and proceeded to pull at my hair with it. The Dh told me that the trip would be from November 14 through December 10.
I never swear. WTF!? Thanksgiving. Decorate my house alone? No tree chopping? No egg nog? No hubby to play Christmas music while I decorate?
What company would force employees to travel during Thanksgiving. No extra pay. No advance warning, just a reminder to pack bags and get inoculations.
The DH assures me he will try his hardest to work something out.
I don't know. My solution: buy fake tree. Decorate this weekend. Sit alone next to tree every night and miss my hubby. Bypass the Thanksgiving we throw every year. Watch my friends on facebook enjoy memories with their little ones and happy husbands.
Miss my hubby. Miss our time together. Miss our traditions.
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I feel for ya Hun. I know it sucks, but enjoy the time you have, whatever time that is. I have been alone for 15 years and I know it's hard to be alone, especially during the holidays. Blessings to you and yours. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteEmily,
ReplyDeleteI just read your post and my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you are feeling so low and have to suffer through the holiday without your DH. Your anger and frustration is understandable.
Sometimes obstacles are put in our way for a reason, even if we don't understand it at the time. Think of his homecoming! Maybe your ultimate dream of becoming a mom will be realized soon!
I am praying for you.
Sorry you are going through all of this now and then to have the added burden of not having your husband around.
ReplyDeleteMaybe to cheer up your holidays you could join a Big Brother/Big Sister group and help out a kid who needs mentoring or maybe you could adopt a family for the holidays through a local church or womens shelter.
That's very sad to hear, it seems as though companies just don't treat their employees as they once did. They want all the loyalty and don't want to give any in return or think of much more than the bottom line. It makes me sad & i hope your husband is able to spend a bit of time with you this season. <3
ReplyDelete*hugs* from another want to be mom.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that you are dealing with this. Total bummer. If at all possible I think you should just go along - not for the whole thing, but at least the Thanksgiving part. Spend it with the hubby on the road....because you can right now....won't be so easy when you finally do have kids....make it a fun vacation. And coming back mid month does suck, but you still have 15 whole days to get all that decorating in. You can totally do it....I remember times growing up where we waited until the week before Christmas to put up the tree, sometimes it just works out that way.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Emily :-( I have a great idea...come to California! yup.. my family will love you...they are very friendly and crazy. You'll have a hoot! I am so sorry I totally feel for you. Hubbies are important during the holidays, I was a single Mom for 5 years after my divorce and was married right outta high school, so I had never been alone. The holidays were horrible and depressing during that time. I would suggest to get super busy with church or work stuff. Then when he comes back take a couple of days off to make up for lost time ;-). Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad for you, Emily! My husband has been travelling a lot, too, so I know exactly how you feel. It's hard not to have our loved ones there, especially on a holiday. I told my husband he needs to find a new job. LOL! Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry sweet Emily, I can see it is breaking your heart, I wish I was closer ad you could borrow the kids here if only for a moment.
ReplyDeleteThere are no words to help, but I will pray for you. And know that so many care for you from near and far.
It's awful....the company, that's awful and thoughtless. it really is.
I know how you feel about wanting to be a mom. My DH and I went through 2 years of struggling to conceive and then IVF all of this year. We are finally pregnant from our third try. My advice to you is... Do not give up. Really hope your husband can get out of this trip. I would be so upset too!
ReplyDeleteOH, Em! I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way! I know how hard it is to want something but not get it. And then to top it off, your hubs is going to be away during your favorite time of the year. I'm sad for you.
ReplyDeleteI pray that you would trust that the Lord has a plan for you!!! His planning and timing is PERFECT!!! God wants you to have the desires of your heart, and I pray that He would give you these desires soon {Psalm 20:4}.
As for your traditions and favorite time of the year--I hope that he can get out of going to work away that long!!! If you need someone to decorate with you, I can skype with you and play Christmas music...I can even skype with you for Thanksgiving dinner:)
I'm praying for you, Em!!!
I'm participating in the new year blog hop and reviewing past posts (LOVE your stuff) and wondering why nobody here posted the suggestion that you enjoy the travel WITH your DH?! Imagine getting to travel to Africa with him over the holiday?! How'd it work out, I wonder (and note I MUST read future posts more closely)...
ReplyDelete